Someone who is very close to you, like your life partner or parents, keeps giving you the feeling that you have to behave in a certain way or achieve certain results to deserve to be loved. They punish you by (playing to) taking their love away if you do not comply.
It´s emotional blackmail and very unhealthy as it harms a person severely and haunts them for the rest of their lives - or until they take action to remove the damage.
What are the effects of conditional love?
Very often victims of conditional love also have enormous problems in their careers. They take criticism personally, and it´s devastating for them. After all, they have been conditioned to believe that they are only worth being loved if they fulfill the conditions. When they were young criticism used to be very personal.